My Breast Reduction Journey

Taken the morning of surgery – I was a 34JJ

Wow, I can’t believe I’m writing this.

For those who know me closely, know how long this journey has been for me. I’ve been unhappy with my chest for what feels like forever, but for those who don’t know me that closely, would have no idea of the struggles that I’ve faced over the years. There was so much I kept hidden, literally and emotionally, and I’m so happy to have this surgery done so that I can no longer feel hidden and share this personal journey with those who care to listen and can relate.

Early Beginnings

From an early age, I remember always having a larger chest in comparisson to most of my peers. Even by the age of 13, it was just myself alongside maybe 2 or 3 girls that even appeared developed and that said a lot even though I was a pre-teen/teenager who was heavily active as a competitive gymnast. Once I passed my puberty phase, I recall always being quite full in the chest and throughout high school, I had to be conscious about what I wore while other girls would come to school in tank tops.

As a gymnast, I struggled with my weight. Not because there was any need for concern, but because I was tall for the average gymnast and I had curves and a bust, I would get targeted as being fat or overweight. Let me tell you what I know now – I was NOT fat, and frankly not even close, but that issue opens up another can of worms.

The Start of Adulthood

Fast forward to my retirement from gymnastics due to an injury. Still busty, but as my body stopped being pushed physically by the sport, my body filled out and as I grew older, my bust grew as well. Then of course comes adulthood, real life and weight fluctuation.  While others with larger chests would enjoy showing them off and enjoy the attention they received, I didn’t feel the same. Once I reached my early 20’s and went out with friends, you would most likely catch me in something that showed off my legs rather than my bust and I loved a good t-shirt.

On my recent travels to Europe. I either covered my chest and hated how they looked, or I braved to wear a low cut top and yup, hated it.

Now, I’m in my 30’s and as you can imagine, things didn’t change. Of course, breasts are made of fat, so naturally, as I reached my adulthood and my weight fluctutated, the breasts grew, but then dropped because well, gravity.

For the past 5 years, my dislike for my breasts turned into hate and despise and even simple day-to-day tasks were difficult. I stopped wanting to go shopping and the items I picked up were just because they would fit my chest and not because they let me express myself and my love for fashion. My workouts had to change because my chest made it difficult to do anything high impact and there was just never a bra that would give me support. I stopped joining Stuart for a game of golf because I just felt like I couldn’t hold my club like I should. My breasts became a burden – something I had to be conscious of. Not a full belly with a little more rolls around it, and not the legs with a little more cellulite, but rather a pair of breasts that some would joke are “pornstar breasts”, which made it difficult to share my struggles with those around me.

Finally

So, in 2018, I reached my point. I had my doctor refer me to a good surgeon and I’ll be honest, I was not prepared for the wait – which made me angry that I didn’t jump on this decision earlier. My initial appointment with my surgeon was July 2019, and since that appointment, I waited and waited because I was told that its normal to wait even up to a year for the surgeon to have a clear schedule. I stopped shopping for bras, swimsuits and everything else because in my head, I was already ready to say goodbye to my size.

Then just a month ago, I got a call from the surgeons office and they let me know that there was an opening in just over 2 weeks time. Though as much as I waited for this moment, I almost felt unready because I thought that I would have more time to prepare. Now was the time, and now the wait was over and now I was able to get one step closer to the me that I had lost. As silly as it sounds, I almost felt like saying no. Something that I struggled with for so long became such a part of me, and I didn’t know how to part from that – but sure enough, with the support of those close to me, I showed up bright and early on February 12th at the hospital and ready to get my reduction.

Day 1 post-op with drains

The surgery was done with anchor incisions, which I discuss on my Instagram Stories Highlight HERE. The surgery was successful, but after the first day I noticed that there was bubbling around my scars, so my stitch tape was removed as they believed I had an allergic reaction to it. I did have drains which are pictured above and those were removed the day after surgery as well. While recovery does take roughly 4-6 weeks, it has been decided that my recovery will take longer as there have been a few complications post-op – more on that in Part 2 of my reduction. The vertical incision under my left breast opened, exposing the tissue which is not ideal, but we are taking it step by step. The left nipple also has some dead tissue, so that is something that we are monitoring daily with a homecare nurse and weekly visits to the surgeon.

While my recovery is now going to be a long one which I was not prepared for, I am trying to stay positive.

Honestly, for a moment I questioned whether this was the right decision and whether it is worth having to go through another surgery to fix the complications and worth all of the pain and discomfort I’m experiencing, but I recently looked at myself in the mirror and I was reminded why I wanted to do this. I looked at myself and really felt like it was me looking back and then I tried on a piece I held onto for a long time thinking it would never fit and it did. Though it has never been about fitting into a size, it just finally felt like I gained a part of me back.

If you are looking for updated on my progress or if you are interested in the surgery for yourself, visit my Instagram page HERE and head to my Breast Reduction highlight.

Part 2 and a Q&A will come in a few weeks, so stay tuned!

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