Relationship Lessons I’ve Learned Over 12 Years

Though our 12 year anniversary is officially at the end of February, Valentine’s Day is just a few days away, so I thought that I would take the opportunity to share some thoughts into our relationship. If you don’t remember, Stuart happened to give such a beautiful write up on the blog last year, so rather than I try to compare to it, I thought that I would switch things up and give some further insight into our relationship and what we’ve learnt over all this time!

All I can hope is that whether you are single, in a new relationship or celebrating decades with the one you love, you can find comfort in our personal journey and know that finding the person for you is more than how they make you feel, but rather, its about how they elevate your life and make you love them as well as yourself more and more each day!

You Have to be a Team

I have to admit that this point truly grew over time. We were young when we started dating, so the idea of team wasn’t exactly necessary. Since we were so young and hadn’t experienced the TRUE struggles of life just yet, once we began working as a team, both our lives and our relationship improved immensely and soon enough we felt supported by each other, emotionally and physically!

If you cannot look at your significant other and confide, trust and believe in them like a team member, than you need to consider what they are to you. Stuart and I are a team. Whatever life throws at each of us or us as a couple, we handle together. Whatever bad news we comes our way, we do it together and whenever life pains us in some way, we are there battling it together. I promise you that you are stronger together and can get through anything better than when you work apart.

A Licence Isn’t Everything

I say this because yup, we haven’t tied the knot yet. We are almost 12 years into this relationship and we are not married. Aside from the fact that weddings are so pricey and there is a lot that I don’t exactly believe in when it comes to super elaborate weddings, I just haven’t felt the need to rush the process. I am still a girl and want to walk down the aisle in a white dress and say our “I Do’s”, but I am confident in believing that a marriage licence doesn’t create a marriage, but rather its the relationship and the people that make a marriage. Frankly, the way I see it, Stuart and I are already married, but we just don’t have it down on paper.

Laugh…A Lot

There isn’t much to say other than laughing with your love. Laugh until your belly hurts and find humour in everything that you do. Laughter will you keep you alive and happy and nothing is better than laughing with the one you love! It is the best feeling when I make Stuart laugh and I have no doubt that it is what keeps our passion alive. Laughter is damn sexy after all!

It’s Always Okay to Disagree

Stuart and I couldn’t be more opposite. Like, literally. We are complete opposites, so naturally we disagree, but its taken me time to realize that its ok. Finding the one for you isn’t about finding the person that always agrees and you see eye-to-eye with (as amazing as that would be), but a working relationship is when two people don’t always agree, but find a way to meet in the middle. Every day is a learning experience and with each fight and disagreement, we hope to move on and learn something about each other.

After all, the best way to truly get to know someone is when things aren’t smooth sailing. Am I right?

Keep The Fire Lit

The fire that you feel at the beginning of a relationship makes your heart skip a beat, but once the years pass and the stresses of life come, it’s so easy to get carried away and soon enough, the fire burning turns more into a little tea light before you know it.

Stuart and I have always had an interesting relationship. Between his time in the Military, my journey as a blogger and his work schedule, we never got used to seeing each other all the time, and because of that, we’ve learnt to keep that fire burning in a number of ways. Experiencing new things together, taking the time to cook together and even playing questionnaire games over wine at home puts us in these beautiful positions were we learn more about each other.

I can confidently say that the more i learn about Stuart, the more I fall for him, and isn’t that what its all about?

Bond Over New Experiences

Like I mentioned before, experiencing new things together is a great way to keep the fire burning, but also helps you get to know your significant other. Learning a new skill or just doing something you’ve never done before puts you in a vulnerable position which makes for some serious bonding. Stuart and I have been trying our best to try new things and we’ve been enjoying different workouts together and even touring a new spot outside of the city to adventure together. We don’t always get the opportunity to travel together, so while I use travel personally to grow as an individual, we take other opportunities to bond!

It’s true that in a relationship you never stop learning, so why not enjoy fun experiences while you learn?

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